05.08.2006 or "The Show Must Go On!"

Ok so the mindless violence and comedy of Devil May Cry 3 cheered me up a little. I took my leave of the house and headed out in the night air to McDonalds, about a ten minute walk away. Once I had eaten I figured I had nothing else to do except try and patch up my realtionship with Taiko no Tatsujin. The time was around 8:30pm and the department store closes at 10.I still had two games worth of Tokens in my pocket from the session I walked away from in a strop earlier in the day. The Arcade was a little quiter now and it was relatively easy to get my game on, although busy enough that the usual people would crowd around the machine like they usually do when they see that someone can actually play the game. It went pretty well I guess, I stuck to songs which were enjoyable and familiar and eased myself into remembering why I started playing this game in the first place, for fun. I didnt attempt any Oni setting songs this time and I might not for a while now but it seems there is hope for me and this game yet.

Coming home and having a good long think about why I am so wound up lately, I think it boils down to more than just sweat and fluffed Taiko games. Ive been away from home and friends for a long time now, by my count about a month and a half. For me this means im almost always fine and happy but when I get tired, any stress or problem is multiplied. The neccesary dependancy on others is also another factor which is really starting to build in my mind as a kind of claustrophobia. I am in a position where I am eternally grateful to a lot of people but as a counterbalance to that, any problems, worries or issues generally need to be kept to myself for fear of sounding ungrateful. Luckily as time passes, I can start to take on more and more resposibility for my existance here but at the moment, its difficult having no choice than to rely on the power and resources and abilties of others, things which I, as of yet do not possess. Hopefully as my self reliance in this country grows, financially and physically I will be able to repay all of the people who have helped me and maybe then I can begin to feel less like a house cat and more like a human being.

Wow, did I get a little serious there for a moment? Well it cant all be smiles and Pokemon here a MMI now can it.