28.09.2006 - Self doubt and a change of location, make for good bloging material.

Ok since these things always lose momentum when I actively try to make them big im just going to begin by detailing some of the things that have happened since I last blogged.

Trivial Things:

I bought three new PSP games, Finder Love, Taiko no Tatsujin Portable 2 and harvest moon.

Earl and Family guy are back on TV and awesome as ever, this really helps with the home sickness, especially as it helps me to reminise about the wonderful weekly TV round up Tom and I would have back at university.

I found the perfect beer snack today.


Important Things:

Im moving out of my current location and moving into a place on my own in thirteen days. Its still pretty close to work and has a nice feel to it. The reasons, I just feel its time for me to start out on my own, try to take full responsibility for my existance here now that I almost can.

Im making friends out here now. Not only did I spend one saturday round at one of my co teachers houses but I also met a couple of really cool canadian guys who are also teachers and seem to be cool guys. We chatted about all things televison and how difficult kids can be. Its a nice feeling to know that you are not alone, I hope I can maintain some friendships out here since it really takes the edge off the culture shock.

Thats all for now!

Till next time!

23.09.2006 - Console Yourself

Well, another week is over and I finally get around to blogging. I wouldnt so much call weekends an escape from my work life, because the nature of the job means you never really feel like you are doing physical work, but they are a time when you can sleep easy, safe in the knowledge that even if you wake up early, you didnt have to so you can spend those blisful quiet morning hours all to yourself. I like to have a cup of coffee, check the email to see what I have been forgetting to check or download and generally centre myself. I also take the time to charge the phone, the ipod and now the psp. I get my podcasts in there for a weekly dripfeed of mundane chat and now I am rendering an entire weeks worth of downloaded anime and TV shows in mp4 format so I can watch them on the PSP at my leisure. Im not going to sing the praise of the PSP again like I did last time but I never realised you could browse the net on them too, and not like restricted WAP net, I mean the whole net via wireless and when I find someone else with a PSP, possibly my girlfriends little sister and going to be playing some wi fi ad hoc tekken and bleach. I love my PSP.

Which saddens me even more to think how many new games and gadgets I am missing right now at TGS 2006. It worse because I know I could have gone had i just planned a little further ahead of the date. Truth is I could decide now to go, and be there just after lunch if work commitments and common sense were no objects. I have promised myself that I am going next year and console myself that everything that is getting shown, ie PS3 and Wii are going to be out in the shops shortly after. I think I have decided on getting PS3 when It comes out. Simply because all of the playstations so far have been great consoles and stood the test of time whilst other consoles wavered. Lets go back a little and look at my history with gaming machines shall we....

The first console I ever had was the SEGA Master System. I loved it to death and alot of my primary school memories are based around the games I played or traded with my friends. Some of the most engrosing and playable games of memory were Alex Kid, Micky Mouse and the Enchanted Castle, Cloud Master, Double Dragon, Donald Duck's Lucky Dime Caper and R-Type. This started an on going love for SEGA consoles. Allthough I would never actually own a Mega Drive I often coveted it as an infinatley powerful big brother to my master system. I remember playing other peoples mega drives alot though and remember just how wonderful the Sonic games were and how chunky and usuable the pads were. Similarly I never owned a SNES but played other peoples, I loved super mario world for its cartoony visual style and character design but never likes the SNES until I grew up and learned how to work an emulator.

I still play Mario and Donky Kong to this day and I think they are great achievements. Post playstation the market was awash with daft and pointless so called next gen consoles like the Jaguar and the Panasonic CDI. The Mega CD and 32x were the console of only the richest kids when I was growing up and the Transformer like plastic obelisk which was constructed from all three consoles was made all the more pointless with the sheer lack of games released in England. When the Playstation came out, everything changed. It was small, quick and had the best control pad I had ever seen. It had CD games and videos, and had the best visuals I had ever seen. It had final fantasy VII and Metal gear Solid, two of the most imortant titles of my game playing experience. Needless to say the Playstation changed the gaming world for the better and everyone loved it, I was a houshold name and it was given the support it needed and backing by Sony to give us thousands of great games.

Now right now I was about to talk about the Sega Dreamcast but I felt like I couldnt express in words how much I loved that console. Instead that is a story for another day.

Wait, where was I going with this, oh right, so playstation one was great, playstation 2 was even better. Everyone knows this, this is why it is continually the top selling console around the world and even if PS3 didnt come out, it would continue to sell and we would all continue to play. They say that final fantasy 12 is the swan song of PS2, but for me, it has to be Taiko no Tatsujin. Not it doesnt push the machines hardware with fancy effect but for sheer gameplay and creative imagery, Taiko no Tatsujin on Ps2 is the best Bemani game I have played on any console. Its adictive, I cant stop playing when I start, Its impossible, I have tried, once you finish one song song you have to play another 25 before something drags you away. I know this now, so I avoid playing it when I have anything to do during that entire day. Its dangourous I tell you.

I forget where I was going with this really and ive been typing for a long time now. oh yeah, Playstaion and sony are awesome. Im sure the Wii will be good too, but you have to make a choice right. Maybe I can convince my girlfriend to get a Wii since she bought a DSlite when I got my PSP. Im really hungry and I need to make that coffee I was promising myself and find food from somewhere. Right, Ill excuse myself until next time, hope evryone is good and pleased that I ranted in no paticular direction with no structure for a while. At least Im posting again.

Ok, bye!

17.09.2006 - Anyone for a Thermos?

I bought a PSP the other day, I had been looking at them for a long time and all but ignored them when I saw them in the UK, but I guess thats because the game selection is not really to my taste back home. The two games I got were Bleach: Heat of the Soul 3 and Tekken Dark Resurection. I also wanted to get Taiko no Tatsujin Portable too but they only had the sequel which doesnt have Natsu Matsuri by Whiteberry plus to be honest playing it without a drum as I have witnessed on the PS2 as player 2, is not half as fun and way too easy. Having made friends with the little machine for about two days now, I can only say, wow. What an awesome little thing it is. The games, especially Tekken are just phenomenal to look at, the mind boggles at how on earth tekken can look so good on a hand held console.

Secondly, it does everything. I can watch all of my movies and anime on it and listen to music and browse the net. Also, the screen is so sharp and precise, it looks like it is leaping off the screen at you, it really is an incredibly high resolution. The menu system is great too, simple yet stylish with a customisable background, its a joy to use. If I knew PSP was this good I would have got one a long time ago. Although having access to Japan's gaming library rather than the west's really sold the purchase to me, being able to choose anime games and creative little japanese indie games rather than whatever EA sports title is being crammed down Englands throat any given week is a pleasure to behold. Last thing on the topic, Bleach is awesome on it. Sharp, stylish cell shaded charcters and animation, original voice actors, glossy cutscenes from the anime, about 50 characters to choose from, and really satisfying to play, I couldnt be happier.

So, anyway, back to real life for a minute, today is filled with a great deal of planning for the new topic I am about to embark on at work. I went to the local foregin book store and picked up a few transport themed kids books that caught my eye. I dont care how long I have to stay up tonight to get this planning done, Im going to sail through this next month completely prepared with a plethora of great ideas to keep us busy. I really still trying to find my feet with this whole teaching lark, but one think which I discovered quite quickly is that a day needs to be fast paced, active and interesting in order to get positve feedback from the little guys. I trying to get them to do as many physical activities as possible during this following topic, because there is no worse feeling than when you can see that the kids are bored. Lots of running around and speaking English as much as possible but keeping it fun and upbeat is my ultimate aim. That and also trying to supress the shadow of doubt which Im sure plagues all teachers who are relatively new to the game. Im getting pretty good at this blind self confidence thing. I think its a neccessary skill needed in order to maintain sanity here.

So, what else has been going on since I last came on here. Ive visisted a new department store twice this past week. Its huge but has no arcade, which is a critical handicap in my book, but its size does mean you get happily lost in there. They have some cool music and clothes shops but really it is too big to browse if you have no true agenda. The other day I got lost in one section the size of a whole store back home which was dedicated entirely to thermos flasks. We also saw a massive line of kids waiting for autographs from some pop singer. In Taiwan and Asia, famous people flock to department stores for impromptue performaces and signings and here was obviously no exception, I am yet to catch anyone outside SOGO but I have seen the advertisements for upcoming performances. Whoever is next, i will try to catch it on film and share this rather bizarre occurance.

Well, regretfully I have to get back to work now, but I shall return, Hope all of my readers are happy and well wherever you may be.
Till next time,
This has been MMI

14.09.2006 - Magical Sound Shower

Today was a good day, I had a good meeting, the weather was nice and my kids, although mad as a bag of spiders were generally well behaved. So coming home I found the cleaning lady finishing off what looks to have been an all day job. She must have broken her back all day long and yet been paid less than a quarter of my salary. What injustice in this world. Although surely I would have to be willing to take her place if Im to complain about injustice. Although before now, my employment record has been dotted with some equally shite jobs. I used to clean the crap from under every seat in meadowhall's cinema at 6am in the morning. Who would have thought I would be here now eh? My advice to you readers: go to Asia and teach english!

Getting back to the point, the cleaning lady didnt see me when I came in, and loitering my room I got a real paranoid fear that because she hadnt seen me enter, or ever seen me before to know who I was, she would freak out completely if she saw me now. And to look at me, sweaty as hell from a days work, ruffled hair, unshaven for a day, I would think I was a burglar too if I saw me. Working myself up with this ridiculous thought, I figured I would head out for a bit until the coast was clear. I tiptoed out into the hall and closed the door quietly.

Long story short, I ended up getting some Heiniken green tea and heading for the arcade on the 17th floor of SOGO, a place I used to frequent almost every day until I got TNT on the PS2. I played some Tekken and couldnt for the life of me figure out how the button placement on the cabinet related to the playstation controller setup, hence Yoshimitsu was failing around like a drunken idiot for the best part of my game. What I did finally play however was Outrun 2.

I was lured in my the striking simplicity of this game. I had "Outrun" more than ten years ago on my very first PC and it was only after playing this strikingly faithful follow up that I remembered why I loved it in the first place. Firstly the music, it was so catchy and awesome that you had to keep going just to hear it longer. Two of the most memorable tracks have been recreated in the sequel along with a bunch of new ones. Secondly it was the entire nature of the game, pure escapism. The sequel captures the spirit of the orginal perfectly, in that you are just some eighties surfer dude, setting out to drive seemingly forever with no aim except to enjoy smooth grooves and watch the sunset change from blue to orange to pink with your girlfriend in tow. Yes, its worth checking out, im not sure if this came out for any consoles, but you could always just download the original from somewhere, tune the radio to magical sound shower and cruise off into the sunset. I know I will be.

Tell next time,

This has been MMI

(13.09.2006) MMI: Where we always forget to put the new cover sheets on our TPS reports.

Poor time management is the bane of my existence at the moment. If effects the quality of my work and it effects the stability of this blog. I’ve started to create a schedule which as much contains necessary jobs as it does necessary fun stuff. A schedule the likes of which have never been seen, complete life management, allocated time periods of action which is going to drill into me a sense of order in this hectic bizarrely paced life. Actually no wait, scratch that idea, Ill just try a little harder.

So anyway, after my rather downbeat last blog I have decided to come back with a more positive one. My parents evening went off without a hitch and every party was happy with progress and such. I thought I was however sweating so profusely on the way over, I feared I was going to have to say I got caught in the rain! That bad. Rather than acclimatizing to the heat of this country I am getting sweatier each day, drenched even. Luckily I always find time to take multiple showers, but the sheer amount of liquid that leaves my body sometimes is astounding. Obviously it doesn’t help that I don’t go to the gym or do any sports or any physical activity, the four minutes to work on bike don’t really count either. How is that description a positive one? Oh well, nothing is making sense so far..

So now its mid week and I have that midweek feeling, you know that feeling when you’re best laid plans wear a little thin and your best ideas don’t seem like they are going to stretch all that well until Friday. It is for this reason that planning for next month will be solid and meticulous. Every detail will be planned ahead, so that all that needs to be done is deploy the already sorted resources and ideas without having to do so much on the spot brainstorming. I know I’m still pretty new at all this but a little more forward planning could help me avoid this mid week feeling of flapping in the wind.

That said, I know I will be fine now. I don’t want to tempt fate but I look back on old blogs where things seem so worrying and daunting and I come on here and moan about it. And it’s nothing in the end. And I worked myself up and wasted breath on something which was well within my capabilities in the first place. So enough of that. Now, I have to get back to work.

Skip forward eight hours and I am at home about to post this up. I wasted an evening doing pretty much nothing and now I have to think about planning the rest of the week in the wee small hours before bedtime. I will truly and honestly work on that time management thing.

Till next time,
Where you never know I might actually talk about something other that myself,
This has been MMI

PS. Thanks for the continuous support for the blog, it seems like a fair few people are reading it, which makes me want to improve the quality of the content. Allthough ive always been told that I want never gets.

11.09.2006 or "The Day I stop putting "or" after the date"

Warning: Readers of an already depressed disposition are adviced to stop reading now, the staff at MMI are not held responisble for any damage caused by the apathy and whiney nature of this post.

Well, here we are, post 74 and Im still yet to make any sense out of this situation Im in. What I do know is that I miss socialising, alot. Life out here leaves little time or opportunity for anything which resembles the carefree visits to the pub with my university friends which now seem forever ago. How long before I get something like that back again? Also the few people I do speak to seem a world apart from the people I know back home, different priorities, different interest's different sense of humour. I feel like havent truly been able to have a decent conversation with anyone since June. So we find other outlets, such as this page, but even then poor time management and tiredness often puts a dampner on my motivation to do a blog, as you may have noticed recently. Yep, nothing has become clear or stable, so I wait, and try to do the best I can, and wait some more, then think for a moment that vast amounts of money can replace friends, but it cant, as any morally grounded person will warn you. Well, maybe it cant until the PS3 comes out eh?

Tomorrow is parents evening at school and words cannot describe the fear this instils in my heart. Remembering my own parents evenings makes this seem all the more strange, plus there is the whole language barrier which may either work for or against the flow of the proceedings. "Bite the bullet and face it head on" seems to be becoming the mantra for my life at the moment. Hope for the best because frankly you have no examples to measure any of these new experiences up to. I need a more optimistic outlook though, I never actually end up making a complete fool of myself in these situations, maybe just underwhelm slightly, something which I have been comfortable with most of my life.

As always I will keep you posted on events as they unfold.

09.09.2006 or "Dorayaki and Heineken"

(Bleach Episode 1 Dub is up on the Anime Page)

Today I slept in late, woke up, messed about on the net, started some downloads, took a shower and headed off to feed and wash the turles back at school. But when I arrived there, there was no one in the office so I couldnt get in. A call to my co teacher added the argument that they would ok for just one day and so. Not to waste a day I decided to go for a cycle around Taichung. I was actually looking for a place called Joes Arcade, or something like that, a place where I had been before but had no idea about how I got there. Today I still didn't find it but I did wander into some other cool places. In one direction I found a Subway and needed some food so popped in for a tuna sandwich. Everything was exactly the same as when I worked in Subway, they asked the same questions, all the fillings were the same, it was kind of depressing that the corperate hand of subway had turned these people into exact copies of the Sheffield subway branch employees. It seemed like everything they were doing was so unnatural for regular Taiwanese people I felt like saying, it's ok, take your time, we're in no rush here. The sandwich was also exactly the same, although aparantly you dont get chilli sauce in Taiwan, did we have that in England or did I just imagine it?

Anyway, driving up past the firestation with the cute anime sign, I located NOVA for the first time for myself. Parking up my bike in a place i'm pretty sure could have got it empounded, I took the opportunity to survey the area. Electronics shops seemed to have congregated around NOVA in an attempt to cash in on the similarly minded through traffic of nerds, of which I was also one. So I found a really cool gaming store which, as seems to be the norm here, politely requested they hold my bag in a pidgeon hole whilst a perused the store. The strangest thing though was that upon seeing my face they all immediatly started speaking in Japanese. Obviously they only learnt one foreign language for dealing with non Taiwanese customers and that was it. Not minding too much, my Japanese is a darned sight better than my mandarin, I headed into the store to look around. I was actually after Taiko no Tatsujin 5 or the Anime special that came between five and six but there seemed to be a distinct lack of playstation games. I was reminded of somthing which is glaringly apparant in this country: people love PCs. They love making them themselves piece by piece and souping them up so that they can outpace any console on the market. One other by product of this mindset is the prevelance of the online game. Korea apparantly has the highest count of online game subscribers in the world bu I wouldnt be suprised if Taiwan came in second. In this store they were thousands and they are even in 7/11. Gaming Cafe's are the same, everywhere and really cheap too, but they take their online gaming seriously.

Heading back into NOVA on a saturdaywas a mistake, I got mobbed by hundreds of serious shoppers haggling over god knows what, I started think, if just one of my friends from back home who appreciated computers was with me now, they would flip their lid. I however had had enough and wanted out. I headed home via my new favourite place in Taiwan, a tea shop called third year second class. Its owened by these three guys who have been made into anime characters on their sign. The whole school theme was pointed out to me by my girlfriend when we noticed that they had stolend almost and entire Asian classrooms worth of parephenalia and stowed it away behind the counter. They are allways playing really loud music and trying to make people laugh by shouting welcome to passers by in increasingly bizzare voices. I am a big fan of the whole act. I am an even bigger fan of the heineken green tea they make. Image how nice it is on a boiling hot day to have an ice cold container filled with lemon juice, ice, chinese green tea and heineken lager all shaken together and sealing into an anime monagramed cup. It was so cold and refreshing that I almost fell of my bicycle.

Heading home I played Taiko for hours upon end, and have only just finished, time to settle down watch lots things I have downloaded. Tomorrow is going to be filled with school work and preparation so I need to make the most of these last few hours. Rest assured I will do my best,

Untill next time,

This has been MMI

08.09.2006 or "And Breathe"

"If ever he was going to go, we always said it was going to be the ocean,'' "On land he was agile, quick-thinking, quick-moving and the ocean puts another element there that you have no control over.'' (John Stainton, Irwin's manager)

So why is it that even out here steve irwin being killed is still such a hot topic. Did anyone really talk about him before this happened or did people just see him as a joke. The fact that the Steve Irwin death video is one of the most searched for clips on Youtube would seem to suport the latter theory. Nevertheless, It seems to be the biggest news since the Twin Towers over here, aparantly due to the popularity of the discovery channel. Or maybe it was the mysterious nature of it all, sckewered by a stingray, and how the imediate press releases stated that the footage was caught on film. Why even mention that? Why stir the pot of internet speculation. They say the police needed to watch the tape? Is it a murder investigation? Do they need to identify the guilty stingray and make it stand trial. It seems like such a wierd turn of events that I wouldnt be suprised in the slightest if it was a massive publicity stunt. Imagine how many viewers the show would get if they aired it, just to have him wake up and point and laugh at the camera just to say haha, got you, you morbid bunch or media junkies.

Today has been pretty awesome, half due to the fact that its a friday and the coming of the weekend seems so glorious. Its becoming the standard now that the sky blows up with thunder and torential rain right around home time. I managed to make it ok nonethess and we went out for yakiniku at around five. I ate way too much meat, as is usually the case in places like that, you eat so slowly but for such a long time that your stomach is decieved, kind of like taking your time packing a tent away properly, incidentalty something I have never done. So coming home, I started reading Anne of Green Gables to my girlfriend, its full of gripping drama and violence, as the back of the book explains.... " and she hits him over the head with her book. Life in the sleepy village of Avonlea is never boring". Ooh I bet its not, it sounds devilish, I must read on! Well, I wasnt reading it for myself anyway.

Ah, Now I have the extreme pleasure of being able to relax for the first time all week. Im going to watch some anime, play some taiko, watch a movie, sit down, sleep in late, potter about, play some video games, all the things which I love to do but have been put on the back burner for too long. If I can do these things for maybe one day a week, I think I can live a happy and well adjusted life.

Till next time,

07.09.2006 or "Back from the dead and other revelations"

No Im not dead, no nothing terrible has happened, I am however in the thick of job related tomfoolery some of which has been bordering on the obsurd lately. Needless to say, Im back now and you dont have to worry about such long absences again. You see life out here is a balancing act between complete unpertebment with regards to my situation and location and other times, as in the case of the past three days or so sheer confusion. You see, I find myself awake at night, or in a situation where my brain goes, where the hell am I, what am I doing here, who are these people, what have I become, what am I going to do? And all of these questions are usually acompanied by days of complete disorientation as I grasp at straws of sanity. Also just when I think I have things sorted, or I get into any kind of routine, the rug somehow gets pulled from under my feet and I am left trying to sort everything out again. I felt like I had no time to do anything I enjoyed because I thought I was losing grip of the important things I need to do. What was really happening was that I was panicing.

So now I have decided to stop, slow everything down, stop worrying about what people thing of me for the sake of my own mental health and just do the best I can do in what is a very alien and alienating situation. I keep telling myself Im very new at all this and not to push myself too hard. Maybe I should listen to myself.

Anyway, through all the madness I have found yet another calming past time to get me through the day. Turtles! No not the cartoon or the excelent arcade game but real, baby freshwater turtles which I purchased the other day! Yep, they are in my classroom and they are the most adorable little guys you will ever see. Whenever I get stressed out, i just play with the turtles, pick them up, let them run and swim around and generally find them very amusing. I got the kids to name them, one is called Carol, the other SaaSaa and the other TurtleCrab. Well I couldnt really tell them no when they were trying so long to think of them. I will post some pictures of them soon.

I realise this entry has no kind of structure or consistancy, but I mainly just wanted to post something, anything to let you know Im still here. Expect normal posts from tomorrow onwards and thanks for sticking around.

Till next time,

03.09.2006 or "Recovery Day"

SG Updated! Head on over!

So today was really set aside for nursing myself back to health so that I had the physical capacity to deal with the upcoming week. The good news is I feel much better today and as long as I take it easy on things like Taiko (Bending forwards and Self inflicting RSI) I should be fine. The other thing I was doing today was preparing work and researching material for my new topic at school. Amusingly enough when searching for videos of crabs on the beach I came across this. Needless to say I still havent been able to find anything of real use. Today I also spent alot of time observing the nightmare weather conditions outside and looking down on the people below, struggling through the storm like little ants with umbrellas. Im not quite Howard Hughes but im getting there. I have been banned by my girlfriend from eating any more instant ramen as It will probably be the end of me. I reluctantly agree with that point of view since its composed almost entirely from chemicals.

Last night was an interesting one. Being in need of a doctor I caught a taxi over to my girlfriends place of work and then headed down south to Changhua. It was there where I took in three types of therapy in an attempt to alleviate my pain. First off I went for some physical therapy, think of it as a massage but really really painful. It left my back with massive red marks but didnt really fix the pain per say, its suposed to take effect a day later so it might have actually worked. The other two methods were found at a local clinic where I was prescribed a coctail of drugs to help my back and also the cold I had recently seen the back of. The other was a big injection of painkiller. This took a while to take effect, surprising because it seemed like loads when they put it in. When It finally did, it just made me feel a little drunk rather than actually alleviate the pain. So I sat on the sofa, doped up trying to forget about my back when the cowboy bebop movie came on TV. I am still amazed at how great the animation is in that film, so stylish and gritty, it really sets itself apart from the flock. But as I made myself another page for topics such as that, I guess I should leave it at that. See if you didn't read my other page, you could almost pretend that I wasnt a massive anime geek.

Well, its coming up to eight o clock and I still have lots of work to do, but I thought I would take a breather and say hi to you all here at MMI. Till next time,

02.08.2006 or "Ow! My poor god damn back!"

SG Updated - Check it out!



Yesterday round about lunchtime I managed to hurt my back somehow, I forget exactly what It was but by last night I was in quite alot of pain. When I went to bed I put some heat packs on my spine to see if they would get better. It hasnt and it is still really painful. The best way I can describe it is the sensation of being winded in your stomach transfered to the back. Its hard at move and breathe and the only think I can do is try and rest enough so that it gets better. I have had this about three of four times before and it think it started because I am quite tall and prone to slouching which gives me back ache. What I usually do in that scenario is try to stretch out my spine somehow resulting in a comfortable crack crack cracking sound. This time no amount of stretching seems to help, I will have to ride it out as a pretty bad case of back ache until I can get to a doctor.

So because of that im pretty immobile this weekend. I am on my own in the house but I have lots of things I can be doing. Firstly Im going to get back into my Japanese studies finally. There are just too many opportunities to read, play and watch Japanese language things here to pass up and I really need to work on building my vocab and learning more Kanji. This in turn will benefit you the reader since I will be able to talk about things I have read or played which you may not have heard about. I will be making use of the infinately useful Japanesepod101.com podcast and my own books to aid my learning and maybe ask one of the Japanese people I see if they know of any tutoring programmes in the area.

I know my posting has been slightly sparse and sporadic lately and I am working on fixing that. Thanks to all my readers for coming back and listening to me moan,
Tell Next time,

(Update: Im off to see the doctor later on in the day to find out what is up)